Barely Controlled Black Girl: Reimagine the world while surviving it

The Beauty The Sacrifice The Pain The Longing The Hopefulness The Fear The Weight of being a black mother is something that is not being discussed enough. I am so grateful to Tina Knowles for sharing her story in her book Matriarch. She has helped me recenter my focus on my life's purpose.  In this moment I think about Tina on tour with Beyonce and how she supports her daughter and granddaughters night after night. I am thinking about Marian Robinson who uprooted her life in Chicago to spend 8 years in DC to support her daughter and granddaughters. I'm thinking of my mother who moved from Michigan to Ohio to support her 3 daughters and grandchildren. I'm thinking of my great grandmother who birthed 14 children and died too young. There are so many phenomenal women that keep their families at the center of their priorities WHILE living amazing and meaningful lives themselves.  I come from strong, independent and determined people. People who refused to accept the oppression ...

I wanna be at peace, but this world won't let me I wanna be still, but this world won't let me I wanna be calm, but this world won't let me I wanna move on, but this world won't let me  I wanna be happy, but this world won't let me I wanna be unbothered, but this world won't let me I wanna be carefree, but this world won't let me I wanna be adventurous, but this world won't let me I wanna take risks, but this world won't let me  I wanna be free, but this world won't let me The world has so much in store for me, but we are out of alignment  The world disregards my wishes, hopes and dreams The world doesn't recognize my humanity...Do you?

If a riot is the language of the unheard, a protest is the language of the powerless. Those who don't know what else to do, take to the streets. But what if your people have been in the streets for the last 75 years?  The NAACP was founded in 1909 with the mission statement:  "To ensure the political, educational, social, and economic equality of rights of all persons and to eliminate racial hatred and racial discrimination."  Since then, Black Americans have been in the modern fight for equality. The Civil War and Emancipation Proclamation did not uproot the ugly behavior of our white counterparts. It left us in a position we could not accept. We have gained political power through organizing with discipline and intention. Dr. King was highly intelligent and a gifted strategist. Many people did not understand his tactics and disagreed with his approach. In hindsight, he got his flowers because the result of his leadership is undeniable. That was a moment of political evo...

What is The Black Community? At one point in my life the answer to this question seemed very clear and easy to answer. If you are black, you are a member of the community. Admission was determined by white supremacy. If they could sense even a drop of negro blood in you, they sent you on over (as long as you survived the interaction). However, post Civil Rights Act, there has been a gradual shift. My parents lived through the civil rights movement and were the first generation to benefit from that. Their parents lived through Jim Crow. I have a direct link to people (alive and dead), that raised me, who survived high octane white rage.  That point of reference was never lost on me as a child of a successful black man and a black woman who wanted a suburban education for her daughters. I wasn't raised in the struggle, but I was adjacent to those who were. On my father's side, my family left Tennessee to seek better opportunities for their children.  My great uncle was deaf and ...

Wooooooooooooooooooooooo Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I just woke up from a nap floating in a pool of water filled with epsom salt, followed by a relaxing hot shower. As I write this, I am sipping herbal tea and breathing in mandarin orange scented oxygen. The entire spa has the most pleasant and relaxing scent and soft acoustic music plays quietly in the background. I am being cared for by the staff with no rush to leave and rejoin the real world. I can see it from the window. My husband and daughter waiting outside for me.  This was one of my Mother's Day presents, two sessions at True Rest Float Spa. I have been looking forward to this. Time to rest and relax without interruptions or annoyances. I, with countless other black women are reevaluating how we show up for the world, each other and ourselves. We are tired. Tired of white supremacy, patriarchy, capitalism and colonialism. This world has shown us that our efforts are not enough to change the direction of this nation'...

 My answer...nonexistent. You have to be at the very least, some level of delusional to survive the US. In my opinion, racism should be in the DSM. The foundation of the country is depraved. The people who benefit directly from what the founding fathers created have to be equally depraved to uphold and continue it. The victims of oppression here have PTSD or Stockholm syndrome. White supremacy requires a unhealthy level of cognitive dissonance. America runs on narcissism, not Dunkin'. We are an extremely mentally ill nation. Our homelessness problem is a perfect example of this. How do we witness this everyday and "normalize" it? The amount of manufactured lack in the world's "richest" nation makes absolutely no sense. We should not have a single citizen living without access to basic human rights. But what do we do? We shame and make fun of those who are suffering the most. We question their true motives. We look down on their existence and treat them as le...